"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Phil. 4:6
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine mentioned that she was going to do a 3-week fast as she sought guidance and clarity about her future and certain things in her life. I decided to support her by joining her in her fast. Not surprisingly, I've been greatly impacted in the past week or two. What started as just an act of support to a friend and some relaxing meditation time with God turned into...something more. I don't know how to describe it.
Within a week, I've been hit with a lot of turmoil and trials. I have cried more in the past days than I have in a very long time. I have prayed the most sincere, selfless, humbling, and broken prayers I have prayed in a very long time (maybe ever). I have been more desperate for God and His presence than I have been in a very long time.
Even so, I think maybe I have been too passive in waiting for Him.
Another friend of mine who is going through a lot right now repeatedly asked me the other day if anything was worth fighting for. I was then reminded of Jacob wrestling with God -- one of my favorite passages. He wouldn't let go, and even injured himself, because he so desperately plead and fought to be blessed and to see God's glory in his life.
I need to fight even more. This desperation is becoming overwhelming, I'm not sure how to handle it. But I think pleading for blessings is one way to go for now.
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