International Women's Day 2011

[img via The Adventure Project]

From Jumo:
• Women perform 66% of the world’s work and produce 50% of the world’s food, yet they earn only 10% of the world’s income and own only 1% of the world’s property.
• According to the United Nations, girls make up the majority of the estimated 72 million children who are not in school.
• Close to 70% of the world’s 759 million adults who cannot read or write are women.

Today is International Women's Day! Unfortunately, this week is an insanely busy week for me so as much as I want to write a proper post dedicated to women, it will have to be slightly delayed.

However, I have been tweeting (or rather, RTing) for a good portion of today with posts revolving around #IWD11 :) When I get the time later this week to sit down and compile my thoughts, I will do so.

Before I go (and study my brains out about macroeconomics for international affairs), I just want to say that women should most certainly be celebrated, not oppressed! Honor the women in your life by pledging to make a difference in the lives of women across the globe :)

For a start, you can visit Google's IWD page (accessible by clicking on Google's doodle today) and seeing the various organizations dedicated to positively impacting our world through putting women's issues on the agenda.

And now I'm off. Have a fabulous rest of the week, folks! And remember that all of March is Women's Month!

I'm caught in Your grace...

A thousand times I've failed,
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again,
I'm caught in Your grace...


I feel like the last quarter of my life so far has been filled with a lot of mistakes. I have the inexplicable ability to continually screw things up. Unfortunately, my mistakes bear consequences that not only affect me but also often [negatively] affect people around me. It would be easier if my consequences were really just my consequences. But they're not. And worse, I'm pretty sure that the fact that people are hurt by me is incredibly hurtful to God too.


For some reason, I lost it tonight. Thinking about how often and how badly I've messed up in the past number of years always brings me back to the question: why am I such a terrible person.


I need to continue reminding myself of the idea of grace and redemption. I marvel at these concepts; they are so beautiful in nature, which is partly why I find God so awe-inspiring. Yet, I can't fully accept His grace.

Today was the end of my three week food fast. It was truly an amazing experience and so happened to be the perfect time for me, as the weeks following the start of the fast were incredibly tough and trying. But God is good and carried me through. I'm considering extending my fast, though I think food fasting specifically may be unwise for me to continue. I need to contemplate a bit more but would definitely like to keep fasting and seeking.


I keep saying that I want to stop screwing up, that I'm tired of constantly making mistakes and making things worse and hurting people and etc etc etc. But I don't think I can stop making mistake after mistake if I can't first stop berating myself, accept grace, and forgive. It's only then that I can have some forward motion. So let's work on that for now...

"I'm pasty!"

As Reese Witherspoon exclaims in Pleasantville.

I was cleaning out some folders on my computer when I came across this picture from high school -- taken for Burtner as an inside joke, I believe -- and I was in shock as to how tan I was back then. I was pretty much this color all year round. And then college changed my pigments, apparently.



I'm so sad. And the thing is, I'm not even pale. Pale is nice. I'm not pale. I'm pasty...and sometimes an unhealthy/malnourished tone. 2011, I will eat better, get some vitamin D absorbed in, and have a normal skin tone!

Write

It's probably good discipline for me to 1) upload my 365 days of pictures every day -- or at least every week -- and 2) write more. When I was younger, my blogs were text-heavy novels documenting trivial things of my daily life but with little personal touch to it. Over the years, my blogging style has evolved more towards minimalism -- pictures, videos, and few words. Perhaps it happened because I'm a visual person and I feel that words rarely adequately capture ideas or feelings...or perhaps it's because I got lazy and more emotionally reclusive.

Regardless, I think I should start writing more. And not just vague phrases or obscure quotes or re-edited lyrics. Mainly, I hope to document my journey in 2011 (cliche, I know). It'll be a discipline for me to practice actively thinking through my life and formulating coherent thoughts.

So here goes.

2011 will probably be the biggest transition year of my life. A year is a long time -- much can happen in 365 days -- and every year is a major milestone, really. But this coming year will be the first where things aren't so clearly mapped out; I have no route or plan, but I'll be making major moves (figuratively & literally).

I've never been one to worry about my future or over-care about school, grades, career paths, love life, salaries, residence, etc. My mom has said since I was a child that the first words she'd describe me with are laid-back, easy-going, and independent. Lately, however, I've been finding myself more and more concerned (but not quite worried) about my future. This whole being concerned thing is very unsettling, let me tell you. I much prefer smiling and possessing that feeling that things will be fine and will work themselves out.

As I figure things out -- future goals, spiritual journey, and even my summer travels -- I'm hoping to be able to write them out. The more I leave it in my mind, the more jumbled things become. I'm a visual and organizational person so perhaps this blog will actually become a blog and something of use finally.

The wisdom of Enzo

2011

1. 365 days of pictures:
   In middle school and high school, I took a billion pictures; I was never without a camera (I had gone from disposable cameras to a point-and-shoot film camera to a beautiful Minolta xd-7 to a Canon G5, which was pretty much permanently attached to my hand from 10th grade until 12th grade). And then college hit and my camera suddenly stopped joining my on my daily adventures. Even after I purchased a Canon Rebel XS and a Canon SD780, my photo-taking increased a bit but still stayed at a significant low in comparison to my younger years. This year, I will document my life more -- because life is precious and my memory is seriously shot (note to self: take more fish oil capsules). Also, I'll try to post the week's pictures up.


2. Speak more than English:
   I will improve my Spanish significantly. I will learn to do more than read & write the Bengali alphabet -- I will actually learn words so that I can understand what I am reading & writing. I will improve my Cantonese. I will pick up more Mandarin. I will attempt French and Portuguese (again). The last sentence is a huge maybe.


3. Travel:
   Hong Kong. Macau. Nanning. Shanghai. Dhaka. Kolkata. Hyderabad. Mumbai. Rajasthan. Delhi. Kopila Valley. Dubai. Anywhere inspiring.


4. Read at least a double-digit amount of books:
   This excludes assigned academic texts and the Bible.


5. Read the Bible. Like, really read it:
   I once had about 10 books of the New Testament memorized word for word, references and all. And not just zombie-memorized; really studied and memorized. I sadly cannot say that I can recite most of them to you anymore. Time to brush up. Maybe not memorize word for word, but definitely take this reading way more seriously than I did in 2010.


6. Cultivate creativity:
   I will paint more than one piece this year. I will actually use my sketchbooks for more than propping up things and collecting dust. I will Sculpey. I will design. I will innovate. I will dance. I will get inspired in any way I can. I will spray paint. I will take photographs, not just pictures and snapshots. I will write. I will be someone's muse and model.


7. Listen to more music:
   I used to be a music junkie. The whole indie-punk stereotype. In 2011, I will discover new music and listen to it more. If you have recommendations, send them over. Music inspires me; I think that's why I stopped creating as much in college. I stopped listening to music like I used to.


8. Go on more daily adventures:
   This pertains specifically to my city. I don't know how much longer I will be in New York City, the best place ever. I may be here forever...but I may not. I already go on a good amount of excursions on these streets but I want to continue it and do it even more this coming year.


9. Listen to more sermons online:
   At least twice a month.


10. Select and maintain friendships better:
    In the past, I've gotten into a lot of trouble because of people misinterpreting my actions -- either I act too much and end up being seen as demanding or I don't act enough and I'm told I'm ignoring people. I will be more conscious of my friendships, make dates with people, enjoy company, be aware of girls' cattiness and boys' idiocies, and mold myself more to be a better friend who understands, accepts, and loves her friends around her. In an almost paradoxical attempt at a balance, I will also be more careful in choosing who I spend my time with and who I let into my heart. Not everyone should be so intimately deemed a friend, otherwise there may be a lot of hurt and heartache. Noted.


11. Say yes to dates/give him a chance:
    Since I was twelve, I have had some terrible stigma against the male population. I don't know if it's some need to prove I don't need a guy...that's likely it...but who knows. Guys who have shown interest in me I have shot down almost immediately. As I got older, the reaction time got faster too. And my reactions got meaner (ashamedly so).
    "Hey, are you friends with --"
    "Bugger off. I'm not interested."
    "But --"
    "BUGGER. OFF."
    "I was just --"
    "I'm a lesbian. And I have 5 kids. Go away."
    "Okay...nice chatting..."
    "Idiot."
    Okay, I exaggerate. I'm not that mean ever. But I really don't give guys much of a chance. It seems very counter-my-personality though to be so cold. With most new people, I'm cheery and excited to meet them. I think I just get turned off as soon as a guy shows interest. Anyways, I think it's time to melt the ice queen a bit (I was actually called that twice the past month) and start giving *some* guys a chance. It's unlikely (I reallyyy emphasize that word) anything will transpire beyond a coffee or a dinner but I don't see why we can't enjoy that coffee or dinner before realizing we're really nothing but acquaintances who like frapps or salmon rolls more than we like each other's company. It may be...nice. And who knows, a friendship may come out of it instead. Though guys almost never want to be friends with girls...whole 'nother story.


12. Take care of my physical self:
    Hopefully this means that I will work out more than once a month. But this definitely means that I will watch what and how I eat as much as possible (eat slower, chew more, go organic whenever fiscally possible, smaller portions, etc). I will drink more water and tea. I will take my vitamins and supplements (fish oil!!!). I will eat even more fruits and veggies than I already do. I will meditate. I will not sit on my butt all day. I will moisturize. I will definitely wear sunscreen (Baz Luhrmann).


13. Call home more:
    Or gchat or email or text. Whatever. And subresolution to this is to make sure I talk to Timothy more. I love my family and I want them to know that.

I think that's a pretty decent list for now. Broad enough to cover most things I want to do but specific enough to give a picture...actionable...measurable...timely...okay, yeah, I've been working on policy and business plan developments too much.

Tony Porter: on being a man

"My liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman.
I remember asking a 9-year-old boy, 'What would life be like for you if you didn't have to adhere to this Man Box?' He said to me, 'I would be free.'"

- Tony Porter

Sunitha Krishnan: Sex slavery.

This gets me:

"We think it is easy money. We think it is shortcut. We think the person likes to do what she's doing. But the extra bonuses that she gets is various infections, sexually transmitted infections, HIV, AIDS, syphilis, gonorrhea, you name it, substance abuse, drugs, everything under the sun. And one day she gives up on you and me, because we have no options for her. And therefore she starts normalizing this exploitation. She believes, 'Yes, this is it, this is what my destiny is about.' And this is normal, to get raped by 100 men a day. And it's abnormal to live in a shelter. It's abnormal to get rehabilitated."

At the end, Sunitha Krishnan adds:

"I'm not asking you all to become Mahatma Gandhis or Martin Luther Kings, or Medha Patkars, or something like that. I'm asking you, in your limited world, can you open your minds? Can you open your hearts? Can you just encompass these people too? Because they are also a part of us. They are also part of this world. I'm asking you, for these children, whose faces you see, they're no more. They died of AIDS last year. I'm asking you to help them, accept as human beings, not as philanthropy, not as charity, but as human beings who deserve all our support. I'm asking you this because no child, no human being, deserves what these children have gone through."

Fishing industry

"Social entrepreneurs are not content just to give a fish or to teach how to fish. They will not rest until they have revolutionized the fishing industry." - Bill Drayton, founder of Ashoka.

Is it time to MakeSense yet? (Almost!)

Christianity in Orissa, India.

Jane sent this to me just now.

I remember back in 2007 when I first heard about the orphanage burnings and the attacks against Christians in the Orissa region. The reports on the persecutions continued into 2008 when I lived in my tiny post-it covered apartment. I made sure that a post-it went up that said "Orissa" on it. Sadly, I've since moved to 2 different apartments and an Orissa post-it never went back up in either of them. Tomorrow when I return to Manhattan (from my one night retreat to the Other Island), I need to remember to put one up.

Summer '07.

I remember coming back from my summer in Peru and hearing about the Korean missionaries that were held hostage in Afghanistan. I remember hearing about the pastor who sacrificed his life to save his team and about his wife's amazing strength & faith when she spoke to her 9-year-old daughter about the death. I remember crying by myself when I heard this story. I remember the year before, when Ani asked me what my passion was and I responded "missions." I remember when Ani heard about the Korean missionaries and, knowing what my passion was, came to me and asked me not to go to anywhere as dangerous as Afghanistan. I remember looking at him and telling him that I couldn't guarantee anything because wherever I was to go, I was going to go. I remember him getting worried and I remember trying not to tear up too much as I explained to him that my passion for healing a broken world was so strong that I would die for it.

I may not be as intensely on fire as I was back then, but I do know that my passion is still there and that I would still die for it.

I'm looking forward to May 2011.

More water talk. #BlogActionDay2010

Just earlier, Mark and I were talking, and the fact came up that a lack of clean water kills more people every year than all forms of violence, including war. He mentioned that this was the fact that struck him the most about the water issue. It's pretty horrific and really puts into perspective how deadly water can be for many in this world (one in eight billion, actually). Not to sound callous, but it sounds about right. If over 38,000 children are dying every week because of water-related illnesses, then yeah, I can believe that the issue kills more people than all the wars and acts of violence occurring in our world.

Mark went on to comment that the Nobel Peace Price should go to the person who most alleviates the water problem.

Honestly though, there are so many who are working on this issue from so many levels. The solutions are already there. But it takes more than just organizations like Charity:water or Lifewater International to change the numbers. It takes people and mobilization. Unfortunately, for every great idea or solution we have out there, there is even more apathy and inaction.

I read this quote from Christian just yesterday as he was presenting MakeSense at the i7 Summit in Paris yesterday:

"Reward success. Celebrate failure. Punish inaction."

I know it was more in relation to the work that MakeSense is doing, but it made me think yesterday. Yeah, "punish" is a strong word but it's true that the biggest hindrance to development and progress in our society today is inaction, often driven by apathy. It is one of the things that keeps me up at night -- how can we motivate people to bring social change or to do social good?

It's been one of the things that has been on my mind a lot. It's one of the main reasons why The 3:18 Movement was birthed. And it so happens we're currently focused on the clean water issue.


Moving onward, I do have to say that I am incredibly glad for today. It has been such an inspiring day -- what with Blog Action Day (#BlogActionDay2010 #bad2010), The Feast conference (#feastongood), the RSA animation on Sir Ken Robinson's talk of social change, and a work meeting with some amazing & dedicated NYC women in fighting sex trafficking.

Today was the reminder I needed of why I do what I do and how much I love doing it.

Lastly, consider doing some of the following:

• Blog/tweet/FB/whatever about the water issue.
• Join The 3:18 Movement's campaign by either walking for a cause or joining the 3:18 team
• If you can't do the walk on October 23rd, consider sponsoring one of a walker. The money raised will bring clean water, health education, and community development to hundreds in Northern Uganda.
• Sign the petition below:

Petitions by Change.org|Start a Petition »

Let's change the world :)

Curiosity & creativity.

The past week or so has inspired me to add to my resolutions:

1) Be even more curious.
2) Create more.

And I will do that. Care to join me?

Keep on keepin' on.

Starting from scratch is difficult. It's hard enough when you're young & inexperienced. It's so much more difficult when no one believes in you.

But you just have to keep on keepin' on, right?


"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Candles.

[Photo by Kim Anderson]

Last night after visiting a friend's new & gorgeous apartment, I stood on the platform at 33rd St. thinking about how glad & fortunate I am to have met her. I happened to also be on the phone with another friend who, over my college years, has become someone that I value greatly. That led me to thinking about how blessed I am to be surrounded by amazing people.

I was considering having a post dedicated to a handful of specific women in my life that have really inspired & influenced me -- old roommates, current roommates, mentors, friends, etc. -- but then I had another idea: to have occasional posts dedicated to one person. Kind of like a highlight or profile...or a candle at a girl's sweet sixteen.

Despite my mom's desire to throw me one (more specifically, renting a weekend house out in the Hamptons for my friends & me), I never had one because I never wanted one. I found them to be silly celebrations that were oftentimes outrageously overdone (as clearly exhibited by MTV). The one part of sweet sixteens that I did really love though was the idea of the candle lighting. Ever since the first sweet sixteen I attended when I was much younger, I always wanted a reason to commemorate the beautiful, inspiring, & influential people in my life, but felt that I had missed a chance when I bypassed the 16th birthday mark.

Pretty silly of me. Who's to say that I can't just celebrate people on a daily basis?

I know that these people-posts won't mean much to the readers of this blog; many will just skip over it, especially when I write about someone they don't even know. The actual person I'm writing about might even skip over it. But I think that, in my efforts to rejuvenate my life, it's important for me to remember the good that's around me & to recognize the people who have helped me to get this far.

Process of renewal.

For a decade now, I've been aimlessly blogging about random events of my life -- sometimes ridiculous, sometimes emotional, often times trivial. I think my dear Jeannie would say that I "vaguely" blogged.

Therefore I'm going to make more of an effort to meaningfully document my life (& for your sakes, try to actually edit what I write rather than just type as I speak out loud to my laptop). I'm hoping to record my journey in becoming the person I want to be/need to be/was made to be, along with the amazing things that inspire me. Yes, it sounds cheesy but for far too long now I've been disappointed, wanting to revamp myself & really be that new creation that I'm supposedly meant to be (2 Cor. 5:17). So I'm scratching everything from before & starting over.

These are the first few of many resolutions that I am undertaking:

1. Document & update life more: take pictures, take videos, blog, post -- & do it in a timely fashion.
2. Listen to more sermons.
3. Call Timothy as often as possible.
4. Stay in touch with positive people, especially my former roommates.
5. Criticize less.
6. Live more minimally.
7. Seek out & listen to new music more often.
8. Develop my hobbies further.
9. Read at least a book every [other] month.
10. Be self-educating.

On a somewhat separate note, when I was about 13 or 14-years-old I made a List of Things to Do Before I Died. It wasn't in any particular order, just whatever came to mind first. What was #1? To own a futon. Guess what I'm sitting on right now (& what I've been sleeping on for 3 weeks). At least I've come that far in the past 9 years. Hurrah!